Daft Emails

A friend recently sent me an email with the hope that I would soon get to know her better. Apparently you are supposed to fill the questions in and email it to 4 friends who then do the same and create a whole world where everyone knows every trivial fact about everyone else. I couldn't be bothered, this was my reply.

Four things about me that you may or may not have known, in no particular order:

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD IN MY LIFE:
1. lavatory attendant (own brush)
2. assistant brain surgeon
3. nuclear rocket scientist
4. trapeze artist (had to leave as I became incontinent)

FOUR MOVIES I COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. Visit to Cromer (Home movie c1952)
2. Tony Blairs Greatest Achievements (Fantasy Film 2006)
3. Bush the Wise (Science Fiction)
4. Traffic Webcam (Time Sq NYC)

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. Under the Table
2. In the Pub
3. The Shed in the Garden
4. Fawlty Towers

FOUR TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH:
1. The Test Card
2. The Adverts for Loans on Sky 1
3. Quantum Physics (BBC2 OE prog)
4. Telly Tubbies

FOUR PLACES I HAVE VISITED:
1. The Garden Shed (not recently)
2. Tesco
4. Next Door
5. NCDC Recycling Centre (Local Tip)

FOUR PEOPLE WHO EMAIL ME:
1. Swedish Babes go Dutch.com (No idea where they got my addy from. :-))
2. NASA ( for advice)
3 John P Getty (but only when he want a loan)
4. People who loose their digi pictures

MY FAVOURITE FOODS:
1. Chocolate
2. Chocolate
3. Chocolate
4. Chocolate covered Chocolate

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. anywhere
2. somewhere over the rainbow
3. with a billionaire
4. with 2 billionaires

FOUR FRIENDS I THINK WILL RESPOND:
1. No one
2. Some one
3. Any one
4. I dont have 4 friends :-(

Yasser, Andy, Pompey and a stick insect

Now what's he on about I hear you ask, well all the above except the stick insect have one thing in common - I will let you work it out by which time I would expect you to have also deduced that I share something in common with them all.......

As For Mr Stick Insect the connection is rather tenuous but it did appear in my garden recently and here is the photograph to prove it



It seems that they are not uncommon in this part of the country, escapees from schools and the like are to blame apparently.

As for the others, Mr Arafat and Mr Lloyd Webber and, I am reliably informed by "N" Mr Stephen Fry, will all be sharing something fairly soon. What a happy bunch they must be once they realsie they have the same natal day as yours truly. Before you reach for the cards and present wrapping let me say here and now I will almost certainly not be celebrating it this year, I am now at an age where these occasions seem to have lost their magic. No more jelly and ice cream, cake and cucumber sandwiches, just perhaps a fish and chip supper somewhere on the coast, overlooking the sea with the sun setting on the horizion - under an umbrella probably. Ho Hum, a few more and I officially qualify for "Grumpy Old Man" status, a bus pass and free prescriptions, what joys I have to look forward too. Have a good week readers.

PS. I found the words to my favourite song on the web and as the late Dusty Springfield had such a huge influence on my adolescent years I wanted to pay tribute to a remarkable lady, for lady she was in every sense of the word.

Summers Here.......(but I wish it wasn't)

The sun has been shining on and off all week here in Cornwall, but it has also brought the usual influx of tourists, who unfortunately don't understand that the sun here is much stronger than elsewhere in the country so there are a lot of very red and grumpy people about.

It also brings problems on the roads with the town coming almost to a standstill with traffic and the local lanes full of vehicles that cant quite get used to reversing and avoiding the hedges and stone walls!

Yesterday was a day to forget - promptly! It started off sunny and bright but sort of degenerated into "one of those days". First I dropped a complete tub of coleslaw on the carpet, then I got caught in the rain and got soaked through, then I had an awkward customer who wanted to know where to buy some pornography, ( I mean, come on as if I would know that....) and to top it all someone hit my car in the narrow lane going home. It was definitely an evening for a beer or two!

Lets hope today will be better............