Now let's all 'ave a larf.....

Designed to be as controversial as possible the Turner Prize for the most outstanding under 50's British Artist cannot and should not be be taken seriously. Apparently this years winner Mark Leckey, included short films of Homer Simpson and Felix the Cat, in a press conference he told the audience it was "great to do something that has some kind of effect on British culture". I quote from the BBC news website:-

According to judges, he uses his "own state of being" to explore those motifs."He celebrates the imagination of the individual and our potential to inhabit, reclaim or animate an idea, a space, or an object," .

Perhaps I am just too past it these days; words for once fail me. I am off to celebrate my imagination and reclaim a space - I am going back to bed.

The Complete Waste of Money Awards

This years nominations at the Complete Waste of Money Awards are:

1) Cornwall Library Service for their splendid £1.25 million self service system now installed in each public library in the county. According to the council the exorbitant cost of this useless device will save money on staffing - so who pays for the ex staffs dole money? Mmm perhaps we will gloss over that for the moment. It is supposed to save £500,000 a year and thus repay the cost of installation in 3 years. Somehow I don't think they have added in the extra cost of running the thing, depreciation of the equipment and the fact that 3 year old electronic equipment is as past its sell by date as a pre war tin of spam, and probably about as useful.



2) Cornwall County Council for their splendid new logo signifying that Cornwall is now All for One. Yeah right, as if a bleedin' logo effects the way anyone feels about anything, unless of course you are a logo designer and have just received the £65,000 for a job well done, not to mention the rest of the £500,000 needed to reprint stationery, make new signs, print new leaflets; the list goes on.




3) North Cornwall Council for not having the nonce to realise that when the RAF pulled out of Newquay Airport and left the running to the council someone would need a licence from the Air Traffic people. Doh - hardly rocket science is it. Subsequently the airport is now closed for 19 days whilst someone pops down to the post office to get the renewal form and sends it off. Meanwhile the council are now responsible for ferrying passengers from Newquay to the nearest airport to get a connecting flight and possibly from the destination airport to Stansted, all paid for of course by the generosity of a pay cut by the council official who was responsible, nah you didn't really think so did you? It is of course paid for by the generosity of the council tax payers of Cornwall. Have no fear tho' as the council are starting an investigation into just how this catastrophe happened, which will probably add another £50 to everyones tax bill and result in the conclusion that Fred in the mail room put the wrong postage on the envelope and it got surcharged by the Post Office and refused. Such is life.

The award for the biggest waste of public money goes to........................

That's right, you guessed it Cornwall County Council for blowing millions of pounds of public money on absolute rubbish, total inefficiency and downright foolishness.

Oh Yes and one more thing, £3000 on a graffiti wall in the park, I think the 1st graffiti artist said it all don't you. "I paid my tax and all I got was this lousy wall" - Well said Sir!

Kiss Me Goodnight Sergeant Major

So he has left a dance competition because he was popular with the voters, and thought he just might win. I think he could have been right too. The voting must have been quite high for Mr S, when you consider he was at the bottom of the judges leader table yet was saved by the public vote, it meant he must have received a considerable percentage of the votes cast; what a popular chappie.

I cant imagine how John Sargent came to his decision, because I for one cant decide if he made the right decision or not. Seems to me that he was damned if he stayed and damned if he went. If he stayed and better dancers were voted out then the public may not have supported him for too much longer, who knows. As he has now left, the argument is that he has let down the voters who supported him and unsportingly bailed out halfway through the program.

Cor what a dilemma !

All some other "celebrities" have to decide is whether to eat the unmentionable parts of an obscure Australian marsupial whilst sitting in the middle of a TV floodlit jungle. Makes decision making for us mere mortals a bit of a doddle doesn't it. I ain't 'arf glad I'm not famous.

Well at least it will push up the ratings, Oh how cynical..................

Just dont ring up the bank.......

With the announcement by BT today that they will be laying off hundreds of workers, I asked myself this question. Is it really because of the "recession" or is it just an excuse to cut costs. I think that the downturn in the economy has been hyped to such an extent that its now a certainty that confidence or rather lack of it is having a serious effect. To announce such a huge redundancy so quickly into the so called downturn somehow seems a bit hasty to me, I suspect BT and several other companies are using this as an excuse. I have to admit I have no facts and figures at my disposal to prove or disprove my theory, these are only my personal feelings on the matter. I know just how long it takes to restructure such a large reorganisation, and I can tell you it's not done in a few weeks - far from it.

Banks it seems are not going to pass on the Bank of England rate cuts immeadiately, smacks a bit of profiteering to me does that. After all, who was it got us in this so called credit crunch in the first place. Peronally I think its damn cheeky of the banks and Mr Brown should come down hard on them, its the governments bloody money thats propping them up after all. What happened to the British sense of fair play? I suppose that doesnt count where profit is concerned.

Obama is the 1st black president of the USA

Good luck to him, I say, I dont think I would have his job for all the tea in China. Why though is he mainly described as the 1st black president? Who cares what colour he is, it's if he is fit and able to do the job that matters. Race is only an issue when we make it one. He is the 44th president, lets just leave it at that.

Whilst I can fully appreciate why black Americans are celebrating, given the appalling record of race relations in their countrys past, his ethnic background, gender or experience matter not one bit to the rest of the world if he can prove himself to be an intelligent, caring and efficent president; lets face it he dosent have a very hard act to follow, does he?

Good luck to you Mr. Obama, you have a very tough job ahead and I have a feeling you are going to need it.

Oops they've done it again

What on earth is going on at the BBC. This week sees Jeremy Clarkson making offensive remarks about Lorry drivers. Its not so much the remarks that have been made that get me mad its the irresponsibility of overpaid presenters thinking that they are above any normal standards of decency. Top gear, in my opinion has always been borderline in its "laddish" behaviour and back in June of this year showed presenters drinking alcohol at the wheel. This is totally unacceptable and the latest remark is another example of these overpaid presenters simply showing off.

If anyone commands a premium salary then that must come with an acceptance of a public responsibility for their remarks and actions. When in breach of these the BBC or any other broadcaster must come down hard on them. Its not big and its not clever to flout standards of public morality on either TV or Radio just because your celebrity status, or your enormous salary affords you protection, no one is indispensable. Its not censoring the "edgy" comedy that we keep hearing about, or being too politically correct, its simply good manners. Something that seems to be sadly lacking in todays celebrity concious society.

Enough of this for now, I have said my piece, sadly I think its just a downward spiral from now on unless someone authoritative in broadcasting actually stands up and gets counted. It comes down to one thing - respect for others.

When an apology is not enough..........

The BBC have apologised to Andrew Sachs for the appalling and disgusting comments left by Brand and Ross on his voicemail.

www.news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7692911.stm

Mr Sachs, being the gentleman he is, has made no comments about the matter. Good on him for not sinking to the level of the two perpetrators of this childish and pathetic act. Apparently the two culprits have apologised in person and the BBC have themselves been rightly shamed into red-faced guilt.

Considering these two clowns, and I use the term loosely, earn probably more than most people at the BBC, money which comes from the license payer, perhaps the powers that be should impose a fine, rather like the football authority impose on players who have brought the game into disrepute. The money could go to a charity, selected by the victim. After all from what I can gather the remarks may well have been slanderous and therefore worthy of a defamation of character court action. It seems OFFCOM are launching their own investigation into the matter, but I bet the cost wont be paid by Brand & Ross.

To my mind though the best thing would be for the BBC to sack both Brand and Ross, save the license payer a vast amount of money and rid the airwaves of these two pathetic and vile creatures, who think that insulting a 78 year old man is funny. I wonder how they, or their offspring, would feel if someone left a message for them in the same vein?

If you made a similar phone call in your course of employment, I doubt you would still be employed.

The BBC have let standards slip over the years, and on this occasion, just a little bit too far.

Economics and Headlights

So, according to the headlines at the BBC the UK is now in an economic recession. What a surprise! It makes my blood boil when the media, for the last few weeks have been saying it's all doom and gloom, and it's downhill all the way. Perhaps if they had been a bit more upbeat about the whole thing it may have had a different outcome. If the media say there's a great shortage of washing up liquid then panic sets in and before you know it there is. Now I am not comparing shortages of domestic items with a world recession, but the similarities with media reporting are the same. Would Northern Rock have gone under if its problems hadn't been reported in such a sensational way?

How come, that all the so called experts, who are now telling us that it's going to be a short term economic problem and we will be back to normal by 2010, are so clever why didn't they see it coming in the first place?

A few banks, mainly in the USA lent money to people who had no chance of paying it back, this looked good on their books and indicated that the economy was booming. They then sold those debits wrapped up in packages to other banks worldwide. Once the "you know what" hit the fan all the banks got scared and stopped trading with each other, and lending money to business, hence the slide in available capital, hence the current so called recession. So who's to blame? Answer: The Banks, they got greedy and caught a cold, now the governments of most of the western world are bailing them out with public money.

So what if the stock markets are low and the legalised gambling of the traders is under threat, it doesn't mean that the companies whose share value is now low are any less efficient or viable companies, it simply means that stockbrokers cant make huge amounts trading the shares.

Now this may be a bit naive but to me the people who should be paying for all this are the bankers who were unable to make sound judgements in their lending criteria, are they going to pay I ask myself? I think not.

If Mr Average messed up at work I sort of doubt he would be keeping his job and certainly not sacked with a nice golden handshake.I am almost certain the government wouldn't step in and bail him out. Its a simplistic argument I know, but economics isn't rocket science. Spend what you can afford and lend only to those who can and will pay it back.

My other gripe is idiots who drive at dawn and dusk with headlight blazing, annoying other drivers both in front and behind. Do you not realise that's what you have sidelights for. The worse culprits are the 4x4 drivers, their headlights are just at the right level to shine directly into the rear view mirror of the driver in front. Use your side lights, please.

Now, I feel better for getting that of my chest...

Gadgets and the like

Now if you are anything like me you enjoy the 21st century gadgets, anything from computers to mobile phones, everyone it seems has one. And great they are too, until that is they stop working, or have a problem. Well I have just discovered a new site I would urge you all to look at, it covers all sorts of gadgets and gizmos, has postings to help you out of a crisis with your mp3 player and the like. Its still early days on the site so at the moment there are somewhat sparse postings but it will , I am sure, grow over the next few months.

http://www.unofgadgets.com

Give it a try.

FLYMO part worth more than gold !

2 years ago I bought a Flymo Petrol Strimmer XLT250 lite for the garden. This year when I came to use it the small rubber primer bulb had split. ( any one who has a petrol mower or strimmer will know the part I mean) It's only a small rubber bulb held on by a small metal plate and two screws but it a vital part, needed to start the motor, without it it simply wont work. Easy enough to replace, literally in a few seconds, so I though I would contact Flymo to get a new one.

I emailed them in July, no reply. I telephoned them a few weeks later only to hold on for 20 minutes to be cut off so I emailed them again. 2 months later I received this reply.

We have a mail order service available from our factory. Unfortunatly the primer bulb is not available by itself, it comes as part of the carburettor. The cost of the part direct from us is £77.02 plus £3.50 postage and packaging. Please quote part number 5300718-11/0

UNBELIEVABLE ! That makes the tiny rubber bulb worth more than gold! Never mind the appalling waste of throwing a perfectly good carburettor into a landfill site.

Not being put off by this appaling situation I searched on the web and came across Southwest Garden Machinery in Launceston

http://www.southwestgardenmachinery.co.uk/

I emailed them, within hours they had emailed me back giving me the same information, but saying that they would almost certainly have a suitable spare primer bulb that would fit my strimmer, and to take the part into them to check. A few days later I drove over to Launceston to see and they did - cost £3.95. I fitted it in about 1 minute and the strimmer is now back in action.

I have emailed Flymo / Husqvarna and informed them that I certainly wont be buying another product from their group. In this day and age of recycling it is, in my opinion immoral to deal with customers in such a way. The natural lifespan of the primer bulb is certainly far less than the metal carburettor so not supplying it as a seperate part is ridiculious, and down right profiteering on their part.

Oh yes and by the way the original strimmer is priced at £79. How do companies like this get away with it?

A heartfelt thanks to Southwest Garden Machinery for coming to the rescue, I am now strimming away happily and will certainly use and recommend Southwest Garden Machinery again.

The Sun is OUT !!!!

Regular readers may have noticed that there has been a dearth of blogging of recent months, that I may add is not due to pressure of work /long continental holidays / being entertained at Her Majesties pleasure or any other such excuse, it's merely laziness, but today the sun came out and the whole place took on a new shine so I thought I would take advantage of the clement weather and record a few thoughts from North Cornwall.

Thought no 1 - Its been raining here for the last 4 weeks, with barely a let up of more than a few hours, so to see the sun at last this summer is somewhat of a miracle. In fact is been pretty rubbish weatherwise since Wimbledon week, lets hope its now turned and summers come at last.

Thought No 2 - It seems the government are going to record all telephone conversations, emails and text messages in order to combat terrisom. Now wether or not you agree, you must have sympathy for the poor sod who has to wade through millions of text messages from spoty teenagers about their undying love for the member of some pop band or other, just to find out if someones left something explosive in a waste bin